


All Things Equal

by clotpoleofthelord (plantainleaf)



Series: Jimmy!verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dreams, Episode: s08e23 Sacrifice, F/M, Fallen Castiel, Heaven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 20:50:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/815909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantainleaf/pseuds/clotpoleofthelord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy's in Heaven, Cas is on Earth. With the help of Sam and Dean and a whole team in Heaven, they set out to make things right on both planes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Things Equal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [deans1911 (partialdifferential)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=deans1911+%28partialdifferential%29).



> SO MUCH GRATITUDE to Lily (tundraeternal/drownedinblissfulconfusion) for betaing and cheerleading through this fic.
> 
> Also HUGE thanks to deanhugchester/frecklesarechocolate, xaandria/cliffnotesofanerd, thedisreputabledog and tamryneradani for suggestions and support!
> 
> And also, this pair of fics is partly a birthday present for crackedchassis/deans1911/kaztiel/lobsterstiel, who wants Jimmy to get more love.

Cas sat in a boat, rocked by gentle waves that pushed him down the river. He could see the sun setting in the distance and felt an overwhelming sense of contentment rise in his chest. Here, finally, was somewhere he belonged.

 _Castiel..._ A faint whisper drifted across the water. _Castiel, can you hear me?_

Cas blinked. Suddenly he sat on a wide, grassy lawn. _Jimmy?_

_You can hear me! Ash said it would work but I gotta say, I wasn't sure._

_What did Ash say would work? What's going on?_

_Ash and Victor and Jess built something to let me talk to you in your dreams so we could work together on our plan._

_This is a dream,_ Cas realized distantly, but his grip on the scene was already fading. The wind picked up. The grass began to fade-

_Wait, Castiel! Dammit-_

Cas jerked awake, feeling disoriented. He'd been having a very good dream, he remembered, and then something...

He sighed and buried his head back against Dean's chest. Whatever it was, it had faded away. He dozed again, lulled back into calm by the steady beat of Dean's heart.

\-----

"Hey, Cas. Hey, dude, time to wake up." A kiss pressed itself to Cas's temple and a hand shook his shoulder. "It's like 11 in the morning, Cas. We got shit to do."

Cas swatted at the hand, muttering,"no,no, Dean. Just let me sleep." He rolled over, out of Dean's reach from where he sat at the edge of the bed. "Just for a little while longer."

The blankets disappeared suddenly in a rush of chilly morning air. "Gah!" Cas sat up with a startled shriek and glared at Dean, heart pounding. Dean just smirked and dropped the blanket in a chair.

"Pretty hard to take your smiting face seriously when you've got bed head that epic, bud. Let's go, come on." He threw a pair of jeans at Cas's face. Cas ducked, frowning.

"Dean, wait."

"No, I let you go back to sleep the last four times I came in here. Not again."

Cas's shook his head. "It's not that." He narrowed his eyes, thinking hard.

Dean must have sensed something in his tone or his expression, because the smirk dropped from his face and he came back to sit beside Cas on the bed. “What’s goin’ on?”

Cas shivered. "I don't know. I feel as though I'm forgetting something. Something important." He dragged a hand through his hair and scrubbed it across his face, then shook his head and sighed. "It's gone."

Dean leaned over, hand behind Cas's neck, and pulled him into a kiss, stroking thumbs against his jaw. When they separated, panting, Dean said, "it was probably just a weird dream, Cas." He grimaced. "Now put some pants on and brush your teeth. Your mouth tastes real human this morning, that's for sure."

Cas smiled slightly at the running joke and stretched back, then stood and bent down to grab the jeans Dean had thrown at him. A hand squeezed a buttock, and he turned to glare at Dean as he flushed and his cock twitched. “Stop that. Unless you want to be trapped in this room for the rest of the morning.”

Dean grinned. “It’s quarter to noon, Cas. Not that big of a threat.” He smacked the former angel’s rear, then stood as well. “Go get cleaned up and meet us in the library. Sammy’s found us a hunt.”

\-----

Cas was preoccupied by the feeling he’d forgotten something crucial through his whole shower. _What was it?_

He felt a pang. Jimmy would probably have been able to help-

Jimmy!

That was it. He’d had the strangest dream... Although it hadn’t felt quite like the other dreams he’d had since falling. It had started out normal, pleasant even. Something about an ocean, or a river. And then- Cas shook his head, frustrated. Then something to do with Jimmy, something that shocked him out of the dream and into wakefulness. But whatever it was remained just out of his reach.

Cas growled, shutting off the water with more force than was necessary. Grabbing a towel, he dried his hair vigorously, then wrapped the towel around his waist and headed back to Dean’s room. He had his own room, of course; the Winchesters had cleared it out especially for him. It was lined with shelves filled with books in dead languages and various trinkets from religions across the globe.

Cas hated it.

He much preferred the soft light of Dean’s room, the weapons hung lovingly on the wall, the pictures lining the shelves, the record collection and turntable. Dean’s room was lived-in, human. Even without Dean in it, it felt like him. Cas’s room was cold, the room of an angel, and that wasn’t who he was anymore. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if that’s who he’d ever been. Or who he wanted to be. Regardless, he was human now, and that’s what mattered. So he spent his nights in Dean’s bed and tried to forget his room existed.

\-----

The hunt had gone as smoothly as they ever did: what had looked like a lone werewolf had turned out to be three were-tigers and one very confused bear. But they’d ganked all three successfully and headed back to the bunker for the night.

“Dude, I am so ready to get some shut-eye,” Dean groaned, stretching as best he could while driving. Sam nodded his assent.

“What was with that bear, anyway? Was it really trying to mate with-”

Their voices faded as Castiel drifted into a doze in the back seat.

He’d just finished helping Ramses II select a new hat when the whisper came again.

_Castiel..._

_Castiel..._ Louder this time.

_Castiel, can you hear me?_

The voice seemed to be getting closer, and clearer, as if someone was tuning a radio to the right frequency.

 _Yes,_ Cas replied, _I’m here. Jimmy? Is that you?_

_Hey! Yes! I’ve been trying to reach you._

_Am I dreaming?_ Cas felt the Egyptian scene fade away, replaced by what seemed to be an endless green lawn broken by one tall willow tree.

_Yes, but don’t think about it too hard or you’ll break the connection._

Cas tried not to.

_Ash rigged this up with some help from Victor and Jess; it lets me talk to you in your dreams the way an angel could. Now that you’re human and I’m up here, I guess it’s almost the same thing._

_Jess?_

_Yeah, Sam’s girlfriend at Stanford. She says she died stuck to the ceiling by a demon, like Mary Winchester, I guess. Victor's the FBI agent that get Sam and Dean put in jail a couple times. Pam’s here too, by the way. She says hello._ He let out a pained noise. _Ow! She just punched me, sorry. She says to tell you you’re forgiven for the eye thing, but only because you’re finally, um, doing Dean._

Cas wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

_Anyway, the point is this: we’re gonna try and check in with you every few days, so you should keep a notebook by your bed or something, or talk it out right away. Dreams are easiest to remember right after you wake up, but the more we talk the easier it should be to hold onto it._

Cas nodded his agreement. _That sounds correct._  

 _Have you made any progress on getting Metatron?_ Jimmy asked.

 _Nothing yet._ Cas shook his head. _He has removed references to himself from most books, so any real information is difficult to find and nearly impossible to confirm._

_We’ve cordoned off our area of Heaven, hidden the paths in and out, so he can’t find us, as far as we can tell. He wasn’t here last time Ash shook things up, so if we’re lucky he doesn’t even know we’re here._

Jimmy’s voice began to fade into the distance. _Remember this, Castiel! Every two days I’ll get in touch. Write this down and remember it. Talk to you soon._ His voice was almost completely faded when his whisper crossed their connection: _I really kinda miss you, you know. Even though you took over my body._

Cas reached into the darkness, pressing out with all his strength the words _I miss you too, Jimmy._

The dream broke as the Impala’s rumble halted, and Cas’s eyes opened, blinking.

“Dean.”

Dean turned around from the front seat. He must have heard something in Cas’s voice because his brow was created and his eyes worried. “What’s up, Cas?”

“It’s Jimmy. I think-” Cas frowned, thinking. “I think he’s trying to talk to me.”

Sam turned around as well. “What do you mean, talk to you? Isn’t he in Heaven?”

“He is,” replied Cas, “But he says he has found Ash and that he, Victor from the FBI and Jess have set up something to allow him to walk my dreams like I once could to you, Dean.”

Sam had gone pale. “Jess? My- you mean Jess from Stanford?”

Cas nodded.

“Jess is... with him? Up there?”

Cas nodded. “She’s helping Ash create new technologies to interact with different Heavens. Apparently they have a whole group of souls working on the Metatron problem.”

Sam smiled weakly. “Yeah, she was, um, she was always good at stuff like that. Organizing people. Technology. Uh, I gotta-” He stood abruptly and left the car, hurrying into the bunker. 

“Dean? Did I say something wrong?”

Dean sighed, staring after Sam. “No, man. Jess is just... still a touchy subject, you know?”

“Because Sam blames himself for her death?”

Dean reached for the door, sliding out and grabbing their bags from the trunk and handing one to Cas. “Yeah. And that was when he decided he’d never get out of the hunting life.” They shut the bunker door behind them and headed towards Dean’s room. Dean glanced at Sam’s door as they passed, frowning. It was shut and there was no light beneath it. 

“He still loves her?” asked Cas when they were safely behind their own closed door. “A decade later?”

“Yeah.” Dean sighed. “Or he loves the idea of her. I don’t know, man.” He flopped back on the bed, toeing his boots off. “He’ll be good in the morning.” He still looked worried, though.

Cas sat down next to him, wincing as exhausted muscles protested, and carefully removed his shoes and socks. It had been three weeks since his fall, and he was still getting used to needing to change his clothes. He set the socks in the laundry basket gently, making sure they weren’t bunched or inside out, and began to shimmy out of his jeans.

Dean twisted and wriggled around until his head rested in Cas’s lap and smirked up at him. “Hey Cas, you looked pretty good out there today. Your knife moves are getting sharp.”

Cas smiled. “The demon-killing knife is not dissimilar to my angel sword in size or technique, Dean. I’ve been fighting with blades since before your ancestors walked upright.”

Dean shivered, smile widening, and sat up. He rested his hands on Cas’s chest, stroking the fabric. “Oh yeah? Tell me about it. You know I want to hear your stories.” He brushed a hand along Cas’s shoulder, slipping his overshirt down his arms.

“There were monsters in ancient times as well, Dean.” he shuddered as Dean snuck a hand under his shirt and pushed it off, then stripped off his own shirt. “Monsters that have no names in human language.” He drew a deep breath as Dean pushed him back down on the bed.

“Mmm. And you fought them?” He began to mouth across Cas’s chest.

“Yes, my garrison - _Dean!_ \- my garrison was stationed on another plane. This is - _oh!_ \- this is not the only place my father created.” He groaned as Dean found a nipple and buried his hands in the other man’s hair. “The plane we guarded before Earth was a cold place, filled with- with- _ah, Dean!_ ” He wrapped his hands around the hunter’s shoulders and pulled him up, rolling them as he went. “Filled with things that have no earthly equivalent. You are very distracting,” he informed Dean from above him, then kissed him deeply, hands sliding across his torso to his belt. Undoing it, he slid Dean’s pants to his thighs. Dean wriggled out of them the rest of the way, hips grinding almost accidentally against Cas’s quickly-hardening cock.

Dean opened his mouth to speak - _probably to make a facetious remark_ , thought Cas, though he couldn’t maintain his annoyance when Dean pressed against him like that- and Cas kissed him before he could make a sound, pressing him into the bed and grinding his hips down against Dean’s.

Dean groaned deeply at the friction, sliding his hands into Cas’s boxer’s and gripping his ass firmly. Pulling away from the kiss for a moment, he mouthed at Cas’s neck and whispered, “I love your ass,” into the fallen angel’s shoulder.

Cas chuckled and rocked his hips up into Dean’s hands. “I’m glad.” Dean squeezed and slid his hands closer together until they touched, then parted Cas’s cheeks and slid a finger down until it brushed the back of his balls.

“ _Dean!_ ” moaned Cas, rocking up into the touch. He scrambled to yank down Dean’s boxers, then his own, pressing their cocks together.

“Sam’s going to visit Jody and Kevin up in South Dakota this weekend for three whole days, Cas,” whispered Dean into his ear, “we’re going to have the whole bunker to ourselves and you can make all the noise you want.” The tip of his finger pressed against Cas’s hole and Cas moaned. “I’m gonna let you fuck me while he’s gone. You like the sound of that?”

Cas nodded frantically into Dean’s collarbone, reaching a hand down to palm both of their cocks. Slicking them both with the precome dribbling from his own, he set a fast rhythm that had Dean arching off the bed beneath him.

“I love seeing you this way, Dean,” he breathed into Dean’s ear, “spread out beneath me like a feast.” He added a twist to the motion. “Seeing your control break and your barriers fall,” he slid his other hand down and rolled Dean’s balls, “it’s almost as if I can still see your soul.” He bit Dean’s collarbone lightly and Dean came with a long groan, shuddering. Cas sat back on his heels and gazed down at the man laid out under him, rosy-cheeked, panting, and covered in come. He gave himself a few more strokes, then stilled, spurting across Dean’s chest and moaning and collapsing against him.

They lay for a few moments, catching their breaths, before Cas reached down and grabbed a t-shirt and gently wiped Dean’s chest and stomach clean, then tossed it aside and lay across his chest. 

Both fell into a long, dreamless sleep.

\-----

Cas woke slowly, reluctant to emerge from his cocoon of Dean’s warm limbs and their blankets, but needing to relieve himself urgently. 

Standing in the bathroom, he thought about Jimmy Novak, and smiled as he remembered his first night as a human and how Jimmy had taught him most of his human behaviours.  He thought about the fact that a suburban radio salesman who’d never seen a demon in his life had become such a crucial part of the fight against Heaven and Hell. Even now, in Heaven, when he should have been enjoying his happiest memories in an endless loop, he was fighting for Earth.

Jimmy’s devotion and hard work would not go unaided, Cas decided. He would do everything in his power to make sure Jimmy was rewarded for everything he had done once this was over. 

He washed his hands - _Jimmy's hands_ - and headed to the library to start the day’s research.

\-----

The smell of bacon roused him from his reading a few hours later, and a plate slid into his view.

“Hey,” said Dean, arms sliding around Cas’s shoulders. “You’re up early. Any progress?” He pressed his cheek to Cas’s and rested his chin on the former angel’s shoulder.

“I’ve found a reference to a secret way to heaven known only to a few humans, but I’m still trying to track down the source.” Cas leaned back into Dean’s embrace, closing his eyes. “Thank you for breakfast.”

Dean chuckled. “You’ve been working hard this morning while I slept in. Least I could do was cook you up some grub.” He stood, hands on Cas’s shoulders, and began to rub some of the tension from them. “Worried about Jimmy?”

“Yes,” confessed Cas. “Metatron is dangerous, and powerful. I worry that he’ll discover their plan and destroy their souls in punishment.”

Dean’s hands slid up to his neck, then buried themselves in his hair, rubbing lightly. “Jimmy’s a smart guy, and he spent six years with you in his head. Plus he’s got Ash and Pam and Victor and Jess and whoever else they got up there.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Cas’s hair. “We’ll figure it out. Eat your breakfast.”

\-----

A few hours later, Dean and Sam had joined him in the library and all three were hard at work. The brothers were startled from their research by a shout of “A-ha!” from Cas, who looked surprised at the noise that had come from his mouth.

Dean snorted, saying, “What’s up, Cas? Find something?”

“I did.” he pointed at the book in front of him. “I would very much like to know where the Men of Letters found a lost poem from the _Edda_ , but regardless, it has proved very useful.” He motioned at the book. “This is a description of Loki’s activities on Earth in the early part of the 12th century CE in Iceland.”

“Loki?” asked Dean, standing and walking around to glance over Cas’s shoulder at the text and frowning when he realized he couldn’t read Old Norse. “ _Gabriel_ Loki?”

“I believe so.” he pointed at a section of text. “This section details the story of his son, Vafnir Hveðrungr.”

Sam stood and joined them. “Wait, a son? You mean a nephilim?”

Cas sighed. “Yes, although they wouldn’t have known it at the time, since Gabriel was masking his angelic power.” He closed the book. “The poem mentions a sacred book of spells left in Vafnir’s possession to be passed down through the ages, including a spell to enter Loki’s home plane, which sounds like Heaven based on the description provided here. The book never turned up in any museum, so it’s likely it would have been treated with reverence and the family would still be keeping it.”

Sam grinned. “You said it was in Iceland, right?” He opened his laptop and started typing furiously. “I saw a documentary on how Iceland has some of the best genealogy records of any country since the population is so small and they don’t move around. You can check to make sure you aren’t too closely related online at a thing called _Íslendingabók_.” The page loaded slowly. “Cas, what was the son’s name again?”

“Vafnir Hveðrungr. And he was born approximately 1089 CE.” Cas leaned in behind Sam. “There.” a list of names popped up. “Follow it down the eldest sons.” 

Dean sighed and picked up the lunch plates. 800 years of eldest sons meant he might as well get started on the dishes.

\-----

“Got it!” yelled Sam. “Dean, we found them!”

“Awesome,” Dean yelled back, heading back from the kitchen. “We going to Iceland? Because I gotta start stocking up on liquor now if you’re gonna get me on a flight that long.”

“We have no need to fly there, Dean,” said Cas, smiling up at him as he entered and resting a hand on the small of Dean’s back. Dean pulled him closer with an arm around his shoulders.

Sam nodded eagerly, pointing at the wikipedia article up on his screen. “So get this: in 1880, Iceland was in the middle of one of the biggest waves of immigration to North America it’d ever had. Gunnar Hveðrungr, great-great-great et cetera grandson of Vafnir, took his family and moved his ice-fishing business to Minnesota, changing their last name to Vedrung at Ellis Island.” Sam pointed at a ship’s passenger list, showing Gunnar, his wife Helga, and their 5 children.

Cas leaned in and clicked over to another tab, showing US census records. “The 1890 census for the United States was lost in a fire, but in the 1900,1910 and 1920 censuses they’re still living in Brandsvold, Minnesota.”

Sam pulled the computer back, clicking through to the next tab and tossing his hair out of his face impatiently. “His son, Tomás, lived there as well, with his family; Tomás’s great grandson, William Vedrung, runs snowmobile tours there.”

“All right then,” Dean said, looking at the two eager faces staring at him. “Guess we’re heading to Minnesota.”

\-----

Twelve hours of driving, four stops for snacks, three arguments over the music and two tanks of gas later, Dean remembered why they’d moved into the bunker permanently instead of staying on the road. When they pulled into the motel drive in Folsston, MN, Dean jumped out of the car and stretched, hearing his back crackle loudly. Sam did the same on the other side of the car, and Cas was stretching in the backseat, shaking out the pins and needles from his legs.

“I’m gonna go check in and go for a walk. I need some time more than two feet from _you_ , Dean.” Sam stomped off, still fuming about Dean’s refusal to shut off Asia. Dean chuckled and waved him off, opening the trunk. Cas stared around them, taking in the crisp air despite the July heat in Kansas, the flat plains and the wide fields around them. Dean came to stand next to him, gazing out at the fields.

Cas smiled. “I’ve been travelling all over the world for millennia, Dean, but somehow I’ve never been to Minnesota.” He cocked his head. “Not actually landed, anyway. I suppose I’ve been over Minnesota.” He paused. “And under it.”

“Hey!” Sam was walking back towards them. “Here’s your key. I’m in 28. See you in the morning.”

“Yeah. Be careful on your walk, Sam.” 

“Dean. Dude. I’m 32 years old, not 6. I’ll see you for breakfast.” Shaking his head, Sam headed off into the field.

Dean grumbled and turned back to Cas, who was looking at him with a fond smile.

“What? You got something to say to me, too?”

Cas stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. “I enjoy watching you care for your brother. You’ll be a great parent some day.”

Dean turned, pulling away. “I don’t know about that.” He glanced after Sam, seeing a small figure in the distance picking up something from the ground and examining it. “I just worry about the kid, that’s all.” He grabbed their duffles, handing one to Cas and slamming the door. “Let’s get settled in the room.”

Cas followed, frowning. “Sam’s an adult, you know. And he’s fully recovered from the trials.” He set the duffle on the bed.

“I know, Cas. It’s just a hard habit to break, you know. Been looking out for Sammy his whole life.”

“I understand, Dean. But you need to let him be his own person, too.” 

Dean sat on the bed and dragged Cas down next to him. “When did you get so smart about human crap? You been watching Oprah with Sammy?”

“No.” Cas let himself be pulled down onto the bed. “But Dear Abby has written some columns recently that seem surprisingly relevant to our lives.”

Dean laughed loudly and kissed him, then hopped out of his jeans and flicked the light on his side of the bed. “Go to sleep, Cas. Busy day in the morning.”

The other light flicked off and a warm body slid next to him, arm thrown across his chest. He caught the hand, interlacing their fingers. Cas smiled; it was always easier for Dean to show affection in the dark. He buried his face in Dean’s shoulder and whispered, “Goodnight, Dean.”

Cas heard the smile in Dean’s voice as he replied, “‘Night, Cas. Hey, say hi to Jimmy for me when you talk tonight.”

\-----

The fight was going poorly.

Cas held the leek tightly, willing the dogs to back away. The soup was almost ready, if he could only get-

_Castiel._

The dream faded, leek melting from his hand.

_Jimmy?_

_Oh good, the connection does seem to be getting stronger with practice. Where are you?_

_We’re in Minnesota. We may have found a way to get to Heaven._ Cas looked around. _What is this place?_ He stood on a porch, overlooking a wide grassy yard with a vaguely familiar willow.

_Your mind is creating a place in heaven that you can feel safe in, says Ash. He says it should get more detailed the more we use it._

_That makes sense._ Cas moved to sit on the step. _Are you in Ash’s Heaven?_

 _Yeah, that’s where the machine is. And Ash says it’s called Ashland, and to tell you that we’re all on Team Badass up here._ He laughed. _Bobby’s here, too - he says to keep his boys safe._

 _Tell him that I’m trying, but they don’t make it easy._ He kicked at the dirt in front of the step. _Have you made any progress on your side of the plans?_

Jimmy sighed. _Metatron still hasn’t found out about us, as far as we can tell. Bobby’s been traveling to other hunters’ Heavens and getting their help and we’ve built a network of nearly three hundred people working together. We’re hoping that if we can connect enough real estate here, a road to the garden will form._

Cas thought for a moment. _That is a possibility._ In his mind’s eye, he thumbed through a book of spells he’d seen while stationed in Mesopotamia. _There are spells to bind an angel, and his grace, momentarily, even while he is in Heaven._ As he spoke, the book manifested in his hands.

Jimmy smiled. _Forgot mention my favorite part of this place. In here you can create objects as well and I can reproduce them in Ash’s Heaven. It just makes a facsimile, though, so it’s only really useful for books and things that don’t have machinery or powers at all._ The book disappeared from Cas’s hand with a PING. _Got it. Giving it to Ash to look through. We’ll get started on that._

 _Jimmy-_ Cas paused. _How is your Heaven? Are you happy?_

Jimmy laughed sadly. _It’s fine. It’s all my happiest memories: my greatest hits, like Sam said._

_But you don’t sound content._

_How can I just marry my wife over and over, and watch my daughter be born again and again, when I know this is happening? No, until this is figured out... until Metatron is out of power, I’ll be here, working to stop him. Then I can go enjoy my Heaven and wait for Amelia and Claire._

The wind picked up across the lawn, rustling the willow branches. _We will do what we can to make that happen,_ promised Castiel. _I owe you that much._

 _Feeling guilty, Castiel?_ Jimmy’s voice was amused. _You’re getting pretty human after all._ He turned serious as the wind began to whip across the porch. _But we’ve talked about this, you know. You’re making the world safer for my family. I don’t owe you anything._

Cas’s eyes opened to a tuft of brown hair. Dean snorted in his sleep, snuggling closer, a little wet patch of saliva spreading on Cas’s shirt under his mouth.

Cas smiled fondly down at him and tried to compose his thoughts and cement what he and Jimmy had discussed. He’d forgotten to get a notepad once again, and he resolved to buy one as soon as they left the room. He glanced around, and, realizing his cellphone was on the nightstand just in his reach, he stretched for it, ignoring Dean’s grumbles. He quickly typed the relevant information into a blank text, then dropped back to sleep.

\-----

Two hours later, Dean and Cas were woken by a sharp knock and the door and Sam’s voice. 

“Guys! Let’s go! It’s 10 am, for chrissakes. Get up!”

Dean sat up quickly, cracking his head on Cas’s jaw on the way up, and both winced and yelped. “Yeah, yeah, we’re up. Hold your horses, Sam. Be out in ten.” He turned to Cas. “You want first dibs on the shower?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Or we could share.”

Cas felt a low burn in his stomach and leaned over to give Dean a quick kiss. “If we do that, Sam will be waiting much longer than ten minutes, Dean.”

Dean shook his head, smiling, and headed to the shower.

\-----

In the car headed to the diner they’d passed on the way into town, Cas gave them the update on Team Badass.

“So they’re gonna try to bind Metatron?” Dean blew out an incredulous breath. “Big job.” He met Cas’s eyes in the mirror. “Think they can do it?”

“I’m not sure.” He sighed. “But if anyone can, it’s the assembled members of Team Badass.”

Dean was silent for a moment, then replied, voice strangely strangled, “It’s the members of... what now?”

Sam’s shoulders were shaking and his hand was across his mouth.

“Team Badass. Jimmy said Ash named their group of rebellious souls since he was their leader.” Cas frowned, looking put out. “I don’t see what’s so funny about that.” He looked from one to the other.

Dean glanced at him, then met Sam’s eyes and both burst out into full on laughter.

They pulled into the diner, Dean and Sam still chuckling and Cas still pouting, and grabbed a table.

“So.” Sam pulled out his laptop after ordering and opened the information on Bill Vedrung. “His snomobile business is closed during the summer, but according to his facebook page it looks like he’s hanging around town anyway.” He clicked a link, bringing up a picture of a short man in his early 30s. “Fosston’s the biggest town for 50 miles or so, so chances are good he hangs out around here.”

A voice over Sam’s shoulder spoke up in a thick Midwestern drawl. “You boys looking for me?”

All three of them started and turned to look at what had to be Bill Vedrung. He looked down at them with amber eyes, grinning. “Guess so. What can I do for you fellas?” He slid into the booth next to Sam, dwarfed by Sam’s bulk.

Cas leaned forward and opened his mouth, but was stopped by Dean’s hand on his knee.

Dean held out a hand. “I’m Dean, this is Cas and my brother Sam. We just wanted to ask you a couple questions, if that’s all right.”

Bill shook his hand, then nodded to Sam and Cas. “Sure, if you let me join you for breakfast first.” He winked at Cas, who tilted his head and narrowed his eyes in confusion. 

Dean leaned back and slung an arm over Cas’s shoulders, eyes glinting dangerously. “Sure, you’re welcome to stay for breakfast.” 

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean’s display. “Mr. Vedrung-”

“Call me Bill, please. Mr. Vedrung sounds like a movie villain, don’t you think?”

“Um.” Sam looked at his notes, flustered. “Bill. We were doing some research about Icelandic history, and we came across a reference to a very special book that we think was owned at one point by your ancestors.”

“A book.” the joking tone had fled Bill’s voice. “What kind of book, exactly?”

“Well, uh-” Sam turned the laptop around, showing the picture of original copies of the Eddas. “It would probably look something like these, here. Really old paper, bound with string, maybe?”

Abruptly, Bill stood gestured to the waitress, who turned and grabbed boxes for their meals. “Come with me. I need to show you something.”

He shoved the boxed breakfasts into their hands and led the way out of the diner to the parking lot. 

Dean, Sam and Cas exchanged glances, and each shrugged. Bill was small; if he had a weapon or even a bit of angelic strength, the three of them could easily overpower him. They stood and followed.

Bill got in his car wordlessly, gesturing for them to follow in the Impala. His mouth was set in a firm line under his scraggly beard, and his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly.

The two cars drove up straight country roads until they reached a forest with large signs declaring it the Brandsvold State Wildlife Management Area. Bill turned down a narrow dirt track, and Dean, swearing under his breath at the amount of cleaning he was going to have to do on the Impala’s undercarriage after this, turned after him. Finally, after about two miles of wilderness, Bill pulled off the track and got out, crashing through a few feet of brush. 

He stood in a small clearing under an oak tree when the three reached him, leaning against its trunk. “What do you want with the book?” His voice was dangerous, nothing like the flirty tone he’d used earlier.

Cas stepped forward. “You know what your ancestor was, don’t you?”

Bill laughed. “Family legend says he was Loki, but...”

“But you’re not sure.” Cas cocked his head. “Are they dreams, when they come to you? Or are they voices?”

Bill’s jaw dropped. “How could you possibly know about that?”

Cas smiled. “I knew your ancestor well at one time. He was my brother.”

“Who _are_ you people?” asked Bill, crossing his arms over his chest. “How could you have known him? That was a thousand years ago.”

“Your ancestor wasn’t a Pagan god, William Hveðrungr. He was an angel in disguise.” Bill drew in a sharp breath. 

“He was the archangel Gabriel, and you are a descendent of the nephilim.” Cas stepped forward. “The voices you heard were the voices of angels. You’re lucky you are so far removed from him; few humans, even those with angel blood, can stand the song of the host for long.”

Dean spoke up from a few feet back. “And let me guess: the voices all cried out, then went silent about three weeks back?”

Bill looked lost. “Yes, I... I always thought I was crazy. When they stopped, I thought I was finally cured.” He sighed. “My great-grandfather translated part of the book once. He was a scholar of Old Norse as a hobby in his retirement. He said never to show it to an outsider unless they came bearing the light of the sign.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Dean, but Cas was shaking his head and unbuttoning his shirt. He chanted something in Enochian and turned around. “Cas?”

“Dean!” Sam pointed at Bill, “Look!” The man was shining slightly with a blue-white glow. 

“But Dean was staring, mouth open, at Cas, who had turned around and now stood shirtless, dripping the same bright light in two long, jagged lines down his back.

“That’s it!” said Bill, awed. “That’s the sign the book wrote about. The glow.” He stepped closer, reaching out, hesitant. “What is it?” He caught sight of his own arm and started. “Why am I glowing too?”

Cas gave a sad smile and turned back, chanting another Enochian phrase. The glow faded from both of them. “It’s grace-echo.” He slid the shirt back on and buttoned it quickly. “Yours shows that your soul contains a drop of grace, through Gabriel.”

“And yours?”

 Cas looked down, face tight, and didn’t answer. Dean stepped closer and glared at Bill. “Cas is an angel. He’s just, uh, missing his wings for the moment.” 

Bill looked from one to the other, sensing there was more to the story but that now wasn’t the time to ask about it. He stepped back, turning, and walked to an outcropping of rock, lifting a large stone from the top and pulling out a locked case.

“Seriously?” asked Dean, incredulous. “Thousand year old book, and you leave it in a box, outside?”

Bill turned and glared. “The book is spelled to never tear or get dirty, and the box can only be touched by someone from Loki’s bloodline. So I’d say it was pretty safe.”

“There are over 60,000 people descended from him in the world,” interjected Sam. “And at least four hundred in Minnesota.”

“But they don’t know where it is.” He turned and glared at the three. “Do you need my help, or are you just going to insult my family all morning?”

Dean raised his hands in surrender.

“We are sorry, Bill. I know your family has kept this secret for many generations. Thank you for revealing it now,” said Cas so earnestly that Bill was mollified. He pressed his hand to the lid of the box and it popped open with a hiss.

Cas came closer, frowning down at the book Bill held. It was thin, more of a pamphlet, and written in hasty calligraphy. The corners were illuminated with crude drawings of naked men and women, cakes and beer casks. He sighed, shaking his head fondly. “This is Gabriel’s work, for sure. Sam, may I use your phone?”

Sam handed it over and Cas pointed it at the book, carefully snapping pictures of each page. “The spell requires the invocation as well as several ingredients, most of which will be relatively easy to find. The most crucial ingredient, though, is a drop of blood from a son of Loki.” He looked at Bill. “That could mean anyone descended patrilineally from him, including you.”

Bill sighed. “Somehow I figured this would involve me bleeding at some point.”

“The ritual has to take place on a solstice and under the moonlight.” He thought for a moment. “That’s in two days, correct?”

“Yeah,” answered Dean. “Good thing we got here quick.” He stood, knees creaking. “We good here? Because I have a box of bacon in the car that’s got my name on it.”

Cas smiled fondly at him. “Yes, Dean. We’re finished.” He handed the phone back to Sam and turned to Bill. “Is there a place you would prefer to do the ritual?”

He shrugged. “I’ve got a stand of trees behind my shed that get good moonlight. And it’s hidden from the road so nobody’ll come wandering in to find out what the light is.” He smiled. “We don’t get many ancient Pagan rituals performed in Polk County, you know. You’re bringing more excitement than Brandsvold has seen in years.”

With a huff of laughter, Sam replied, “Yeah. We get that a lot.”

\-----

Pulling back into their hotel room after splitting from Bill and grabbing dinner, Sam headed out to collect supplies while Dean and Cas kicked off their shoes and jeans and sat on the bed, looking over the images of the book and making sure they had the ritual down. 

Cas frowned at the photo he held, the last one in his stack, as he transcribed in English the steps needed. “This is certainly Gabriel’s work. No one else would think to light fish oil on fire. The smell will be terrible.”  He shook his head mournfully. “And it will stick to clothing for weeks.”

Since Cas had fallen, he’d developed a strange fondness for laundry. He’d taken it over for all three of them. He devoted himself with his usual fastidiousness to the task, and Dean and Sam had never had cleaner clothes with brighter colors. He was so diligent that it was actually becoming a problem when they needed to blend in with the hunter crowd. But Cas found it comforting: taking something damaged and dirty and making it almost new again. He’d even found an ancient sewing kit somewhere and was learning to fix tears and re-sew buttons. He took every stain, rip and weird smell they brought home as a personal affront.

“Hey Cas?” Dean looked up at the former angel. “How you doing with all this?”

Cas frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean... we’re talking about heading up to Heaven. You uh, you haven’t exactly had the best times up there lately.”

Cas set the pages aside and sighed, turning to face Dean. “I know.” He looked down at his hands. “But I have to fix this.” He looked up at Dean beseechingly. “It’s my fault Metatron took control. I believed him over you. I... I should have trusted you, Dean. You’ve been right about so many of the people who’ve betrayed me.”

Dean shuffled closer, brushing the photos out of the way and onto the floor. “Cas, you thought you were doing the right thing. I get that. And yeah, I was pissed you trusted Metatron, and Uriel, and Crowley and all of them over me, but-” he wrapped his arm around Cas’s shoulder. “But they were your family. And now it’s done, and over, and now you can fix Heaven. And then maybe you’ll feel like you can get a fresh start on stuff, you know?”

Cas stared at him, eyes intent. “How can I ever deserve your trust again, Dean? After all I’ve done?” He leaned against Dean’s shoulder. “Even if I fix this mess, thousands of angels and humans died at my word.”

Dean kissed Cas’s forehead. “I know. And I tortured thousands in Hell, and I think of that every day and feel damn guilty.” His other hand slid to Cas’s waist, pulling him closer. “But you know what?” He nuzzled at Cas’s neck. “You pulled me out of Hell and let me have a second chance.” He yawned and leaned back, pulling Cas with him onto the bed and positioning the angel’s head under his chin. “Maybe now I get to repay you for that.” He ran his hand down Cas’s back and pressed a kiss into his ear. “We’ve all done some shit that most people wouldn’t understand, Cas. I mean, Sam started the apocalypse, for chrissakes. But we can’t just sit around feeling sorry for ourselves, you know? We gotta live our lives and try and pay the world back what we owe.”

Cas sighed and curled himself against Dean, closing his eyes. Part of him knew Dean had a point, but another part clung tightly to the guilt, the self-loathing, the anger because if he let it go, he wasn’t sure _what_ would happen.

\-----

The washing machine had almost finished the load of tiny, tiny Canadians when the voice drifted towards Cas.

_Castiel!_

_Hello, Jimmy._ Cas felt the scene melt away, and felt a pang for the little people still in the spin cycle; they’d been so polite. _We found the spell. We will be traveling to Heaven on the Solstice when the moon is at its apex._

Cas heard the smile in Jimmy’s voice. _That’s great. Bobby and Rufus found a secret way to get to the angel side of Heaven and have been keeping an eye out; looks like you were right and it’s just Metatron up there. When you get here, we’ll be ready._

Cas sat on the porch swing and looked out at the lawn of this dream-house. Flowers had sprouted along the brick path to the door, and a mailbox sat at the end. He smiled. _We will see you soon, Jimmy. If you can distract and bind Metatron, I can destroy him._ He swung back and forth slowly, rubbing his hand over the smooth wood of the armrest. _The angels will all still be trapped on Earth, fallen, but..._ He sighed. 

 _We can cross that bridge when we get there, Castiel. For now, let’s just focus on Metatron._  

Cas felt the breeze that broke the dream begin to rise. _Jimmy, Ash’s scanner should pick up our arrival. I know my way around Heaven, but not through your secret paths. Can you send someone to meet us?_

Jimmy laughed. _I know just the person. She’ll be waiting for you._ Jimmy’s voice faded, and Cas’s eyes opened to Dean’s smiling face and a hand sliding down his stomach and under the waist of his boxers.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean’s grin was wide. “Nice dreams?”

Cas yawned. “I spoke to Jimmy and our plan seems to be in place, so yes, I suppose that counts as a nice dream.”

Dean’s hand teased along the seam between his thigh and groin and he pressed a kiss to Cas’s clothed shoulder. “Can’t wait to hear about it.” His other hand tugged at Cas’s shirt and Cas lifted his torso obligingly, still blinking away, and let him pull the shirt over his head. “Later.”

Cas claimed Dean’s mouth in a kiss and rolled on his side, pressing his body against the human’s. “I like this. You should wake me up this way every morning.” He kissed Dean again. “It’s far preferable to hitting me with a pillow or yelling.”

Dean laughed and wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist, pulling him close. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He kissed him on the forehead, then the nose, then the lips.

“You seem cheerful this morning,” remarked Cas breathlessly.

Dean shrugged, smiling. “I’m just feeling pretty good, I guess. Looks like we might actually get this figured out.” He kissed Cas’s cheek. “And we caught a break with Bill. I thought finding the spell would be harder.” He ran his hands down Cas’s back to palm his ass. “And I’ve got you in my bed.” He grinned, a glint in his eye. “And Sammy’s not coming to  get us for...” he glanced at the clock, “more than an hour.” He squeezed and ground against Cas. “So yeah, I guess I’m cheerful.”

Cas couldn’t help but smile back and kiss him. “Take your clothes off, Dean.”

“You takin’ the lead today, Cas?” Dean pulled back to comply. “I like it.”

When Dean was completely undressed, Cas could see that he was already half-hard. Under Cas’s scrutiny his cock swelled further, rising, as a flush spread down his chest.

“You just gonna watch, Cas, or you gonna do something about it?” Dean lay back, displaying himself with legs spread.

Cas smiled and leaned back. “I think I’ll just watch for now, thank you.” A thought occurred to him. “Remember what you promised me last week?” He leaned back and rifled through his duffle, pulling out the bottle of lube and setting it on the bed between them. “I want to fuck you, Dean.”

Dean shivered, eyes widening. "Yeah, Cas?" He leaned closer. "What are you gonna do about that?"

Cas propped his head on his hand and palmed his erection through his boxers. "Nothing, for now. I'm going to watch you prepare yourself while I touch myself."

Dean stared at his hand, flushing further. "Jesus, Cas." He reached for the lube, eyes flicking to Cas's face. 

Cas gave him a small smile. "Please continue. And I would prefer if you turned over so I could watch more closely.

Dean let out a slight moan. He rolled on his stomach, shakily, head still turned towards Cas, and pulled his knees under him.

"That's very good, Dean." Cas shimmied out of his boxers and tossed them aside. "I've been researching techniques for preparing for anal intercourse since we last discussed it." He stroked himself slowly, brushing his fingers across his balls on the downstroke. “That’s just how I want you.”

Dean shuddered and poured lube on his fingers, trying not to let it slide onto the bed, then reached back and ran a slick hand down his crack and across his hole. He turned his head towards Cas and met the angel’s eyes. Cas’s gaze was intent, focused on him as if he were the only thing in the world. His attention flicked from Dean’s face to his fingers sliding back and forth, and Dean pressed a finger in, just the tip, when he was sure Cas was watching. He moaned, pressing it a little deeper, and was rewarded by Cas’s hand stuttering a little on his cock.

“Deeper, Dean.” His voice had lowered even further, until it was barely a rumble in his chest. “Go in deeper.”

Dean complied, feeling a burn and at the same time a thrill of pleasure. He pressed deeper with each stroke until his finger was buried to the palm and the burn had all but disappeared.

“Another, Dean. Add another finger. Stretch yourself for me.” Cas’s eyes were wide as he stared at Dean, pupils almost completely dilated. “Let me see you open yourself for me.”

Dean shivered at the command in Cas’s voice and pressed his middle finger in alongside his index. As they slid in easily, with just the smallest burn, they brushed against something that sent sparks shooting through him, and he let out a whimpered “Cas!”

Cas groaned, hand stilling on his cock, and reached forward to trail a hand down Dean’s hip. “Dean, do you know what you do to me?” 

Dean shook his head, fingers continuing to slide in and out of his ass, trying to find that sweetspot again. He curled them slightly inward and- “Oh!” there it was.

“You make me _want_ , Dean. You’ve always made me _want_.” Cas shifted closer until his slowly-fisting hand nearly brushed Dean’s side at the apex of each stroke. “Use a third finger, Dean. I want to be sure you’re ready for me.”

Dean did so, now brushing his prostate on every stroke and writhing on the bed. “Cas, I want...” He whimpered, leaning towards Cas. “I want you in me, Cas. Please.”

Cas shivered and slid even closer. “Pull out, Dean, and turn on your side, away from me.” Dean turned, trying not to moan at the sudden emptiness inside him. “Pull your knee up,” said Cas, guiding Dean’s leg with one hand while reaching for the lube with the other. He drizzled it across his cock and spread it with his hand, groaning at the touch.

Dean rocked back against him. “Cas, please! I need you.”

At those words Cas couldn’t hold back any longer, and he wrapped slick hands around Dean’s hips and pulled them flush together. One hand reached up to stroke Dean’s shoulder while the other guided his cock into Dean.

Both let out sounds as the head of Cas’s cock pressed beyond the rings of muscle. Cas panted, trying to hold back the urge to thrust, and Dean focused on relaxing his muscles. Cas felt huge inside him, though logically Dean knew he wasn’t much bigger than three fingers. “I’m ok, Cas. Please... please just fuck me. I need you to fuck me,” Dean babbled.

Cas’s patience and restraint had never been strong, even as an angel, and this morning they had been stretched to their limits. He tucked his legs against the back of Dean’s, wrapped his hands around Dean’s hips and thrust deeply, balls slapping Dean’s own as he bottomed out. They both groaned, and Dean’s hands came back to rub against Cas’s thighs as Cas set a fast, hard pace. 

“Dean, _oh_! Dean, this is-” Cas panted, “This is exquisite. I-” he pushed Dean over until they were both on their knees, held up by Dean’s head on his elbows and Cas’s forehead against the back of Dean’s neck. Cas snapped his hips, brushing Dean’s prostate on each stroke, and reached a hand down to wrap around Dean’s neglected cock. “Dean, I’m so close, I- I can’t-” Dean shuddered as Cas shifted, pressing in deeply. Cas swiped a lube-wet thumb over the head of Dean’s cock and Dean felt the orgasm rise up in him and pour out, and he groaned Cas’s name as he collapsed on the bed. Cas gave one, two, three more strokes, then stilled, flooding Dean with warmth as he keened in ecstasy. He slumped over Dean, face pressed to the nape of his neck, and smiled into his hair. 

They lay for a moment, panting, before Dean pushed gently at Cas to move and Cas rolled off, pulling out.Dean turned and kissed him soundly before pulling back and looking him in the eye, face serious. “You, uh-” he swallowed- “you know I love you, Cas, right?”

Cas stared. “Dean, I-.” his eyes glistened and he blinked back tears. “I love you too.”

Dean smiled, then cleared his throat gruffly, obviously declaring the conversation over. “Good. Then let’s go shower so we don’t give Sam a heart attack when he comes to get us in-” he glanced at the clock, “shit, in twelve minutes.” He pulled Cas in for one more kiss, then hopped out of bed, stretching, and shot Cas a grin. “Join me?” 

Cas smiled and followed.

\-----

They spent the day finishing gathering their supplies (which included the fish oil that had so annoyed Cas earlier, and need to be bought from a Scandinavian specialty shop an hour away in Bemidji. Dean and Sam went to get it, leaving Cas to puzzle through the final pieces of the spell.

“I don’t know why he couldn’t have written these instructions more clearly,” Cas had grumbled. “If I still had my grace, I could just discard the parts of the spell that are unnecessary flourishes.” He had sighed, shaking his head. “Of course, if I had my grace, we wouldn’t have to find a spell to get us to Heaven in the first place, I suppose.”

Dean had patted his shoulder and replied,”but at least you get to nerd out over ancient poetry, right?”

Cas had smiled and replied dryly, “Ancient poetry written by Gabriel, which means it’s mostly about naked women.” He had pointed at one of the drawings in the margin of the book. “Do you think this is meant to be a rat, or a phallus?”

Dean had shuddered and backed away, raising his hands. “I dunno, dude. I’ll leave that up to you to decide.”

Now Sam and Dean had returned with the oil and Cas and Bill had collected the necessary beer, seasoned ash, honey and oats. Cas had drawn a diagram of the motions necessary for the spell and drawn a circle in oats around the clearing, large enough for all three of them to stand inside. The sun had finished setting, the moon was high above and nearly full, and they were almost ready.

“What time is it, Sam?” asked Dean, setting down a couple jugs of beer. 

“10:25. We’ve got about an hour before we need to start the ritual, right?” He glanced up, frowning at his brother. “ _Dean_! We need that beer for the ritual!”

Dean shrugged and offered the jug to Cas, who took a small sip. “We only need the one jug. This one’s the spare. And I wanted to test it out. Make sure it’s good.”

Sam rolled his eyes when Dean held out the jug, but still took it with a huff. “Yeah, fine, it’s really good beer.” He set it aside and glanced at Cas. “Now what?”

Cas was opening his mouth to answer when a branch snapped in the trees behind them. All three spun to stare into the darkness.

Dean grabbed his flashlight and carefully picked his way into the grove towards the noise.

“Dean,” called Cas, something like fear in his voice, “I can sense something!”

“What is it, Cas?” asked Dean, eyes still sweeping the darkness.

“I... I think it’s demons. I’m not sure, it’s a different sense than it was as an angel, but-”

Another branch snapped, this time on the other side of the circle.

“Cas, will adding a circle of salt outside the spell boundary mess it up?” Sam moved towards their bags warily.

“It will render the spell useless, unfortunately.” Cas had pulled his gun from the back of his jeans and was checking the clip. Sam did the same. 

A figure stepped into the clearing.

“Hi, boys.” said the woman, smiling at them with sharp teeth.”Been hearing a lot about you three.”

“What do you want?” growled Cas, stepping forward.

Her eyes flashed white and Sam gasped; this was no foot soldier. “We heard you were taking a trip upstairs, that’s all. We wanted to find out why.” 

“And probably to catch a ticket up, too, or was that not your plan?” Dean stepped from the shadows, gun drawn and pointed at the demon.

“Tsk, tsk,” she said, smiling widely. “My boys won’t let this pretty head get shot, will they?”

Two men, eyes black, stepped out of the forest on either side of Dean. Guns were trained on Sam and Cas, and Dear quickly put his hands in the air. “Whoa, whoa. Let’s talk this out.”

“Sure,” replied the demon easily, shrugging. “Let’s talk. Let’s talk about how you’re going show us the spell to send us up to Heaven or I’m going to shoot your brother and your fallen angel here.”

They stood in a stalemate for a moment, considering each other carefully. Cas and Dean’s eyes met across the circle, and the impasse broke.

Cas stepped forward, hands raised. “There’s no need for us to fight. I have the spell here.” He walked towards the woman, eyes trained on her, holding out the pile of photographs. As she glanced down at them, his eyes flicked to Dean, then to the shadows behind the two grunts. His fingers flicked in a countdown from three, and at one, Dean grabbed the closest demon and wrestled the gun from his hands, while a heavy staff came down on the head of the other as Bill lept from the darkness. Cas grabbed hold of the woman, chanting a blessing as he pressed a hand to her face. Sam rushed to help him, grabbing her arms as Cas exorcised her.

She gasped and writhed, dribbles of smoke passing her lips, but at the end of the exorcism she still fought back, possessed.

“Guys!” yelled Bill, backing up as a demon approached him, reaching for the gun it had dropped, “a little help here would be good!” Dean punched his demon in the face, knocking him to the ground, and turned on the other, reaching the gun first and kicking it further into the woods. The demon snarled at him, furious, and turned from Bill.

Sam nodded at Cas to go, pinning the woman up by her wrists against a tree as he reached quickly into his jacket to grab the demon-killing knife.

Cas sprinted towards Bill, knocking the demon down with a tackle. He pressed a hand to its forehead and recited a quick Enochian exorcism. This time, it worked. The smoke roared from his mouth and he slumped down, unconscious. Dean did the same to the other henchman and his vessel collapsed as well. They turned just as Sam stabbed the knife into the chest of the woman, who glowed gold for a moment, then laughed. 

“It’s gonna take more than that hunk of metal to destroy me, boys.” Her laugh choked as she coughed up blood from her vessel’s ruined lung.

Cas smiled as he stalked up to the demon, pulling out his angel blade. “Something like this, perhaps?” Drawing back his arm, he thrust it through her heart. She glowed, screaming, for a moment, then her skeleton flashed and her body slumped in Sam’s hold.

“Nice work, Cas,” said Dean, grinning as he caught his breath. “Didn’t know you still had that thing.”

Sam dropped the body on the ground, wiping blood from his hands onto his jeans and grimacing at the stains. Catching sight of the moon, nearly directly overhead, Sam pulled out his phone. “Shit!” he shoved it back in his pocket. “Guys, it’s 11:46 and the spell needs to happen in eleven minutes.” He dragged the body quickly out of the circle, taking care not to disturb the oats. “Let’s go.”

Cas picked up the beer and honey and began to chant in Old Norse, mixing them together with a branch of ash in a silver bowl. 

Sam began drawing diagrams in the air at each corner of the circle, while Dean pulled out a knife and gestured to Bill. “Gonna need your blood, dude. Sorry about that.” Bill grimaced and held out an arm over the small dish Dean held, then looked away. 

“Just do it fast, okay- _ow!_ ” Blood dripped from the slash in his forearm. Dean quickly wrapped in in a handkerchief and pushed him out of the circle. “Thanks, man. Now if I were you I’d get outta here; I have a feeling it’s going to  be getting really bright and really loud pretty soon.” Bill nodded and walked quickly away, then paused and turned.

“Good luck, you guys. I hope you figure it out.”

Dean nodded. “Yeah, me too.” Bill fled. Dean turned back to Cas and Sam. “Time?”

Sam checked. “11:56:20. Forty seconds. Thirty eight. Thirty seven.”

Dean passed the dish to Cas, who poured the blood into the bowl and stirred it quickly, nine times.

“Twenty seconds.” said Sam, stepping closer.

Cas pulled out the dripping piece of wood and painted what looked like two overlapping S-shapes on Dean and Sam’s foreheads, then repeated it on his own. He set the bowl on the ground between the three of them and grabbed Sam and Dean’s hands across the circle, joining them, before taking hold of their other hands in his own.

“Five, four, three, two one-”

Cas yelled a word in Old Norse, and the world went black. 

\-----

Birdsong filtered into Cas’s ears as he slowly regained consciousness. He blinked, vision clearing as he opened his eyes to bright sunlight. He lay in soft grass under a willow tree. Turning his head, he saw a small clapboard house with a porch and a swing, and two large lumps of plaid and denim just beyond the path to the door. Sitting up with a groan, he frowned. He recognised this place.

He stood, brushing willow leaves from his hair, and walked carefully towards the house. An orange cat lay curled on the swing, and birds perched on a feeder nailed to the post. Through the window, he saw a pie cooling on the counter.

He knelt beside Dean, who was just beginning to stir, and rested a hand on his cheek. “Dean?” 

Dean’s eyes opened and he focused on Cas’s face. “Cas?” He struggled to sit up. “Where’s Sam?”

Cas helped him up and pointed behind Dean. “He’s over there. He seems to be waking up now too. How are you feeling?” 

Dean shook his head and rubbed his eyes groggily. “A little like I’m in a dream, I guess.” He looked around, frowning. “Where are we?”

Cas shook his head. “I’m not entirely sure.” He stood, helping Dean to his feet, and walked over to Sam, who was pushing himself up on his elbows.

“It’s where I spoke to Jimmy in my dreams. I didn’t realize it was a real place.” He reached out a tentative hand to the cat, who sniffed his fingers before rubbing its head against his palm. “It’s far more detailed than the last time I was here.”

“It’s your heaven,” said a voice, as footsteps crunched up the path. “You have a soul now, so you’re creating it with your mind. Since you don’t have your own human memories to draw from, it’s creating a template to attach new memories you make to, as a hub for your afterlife.”

Sam whirled to face the newcomer, mouth dropping open and tears springing into his eyes. He was speechless for a moment.

“Hey, Sam.” Her blue eyes twinkled as her blond hair rustled in the breeze. “Long time no see.”

“ _Jess?!_ ” Sam stepped forward, reaching out a hand, then paused, clenching it into a fist. “Yeah, it’s... yeah.” He swiped a hand across his eyes. “I... it’s good to see you, Jess. I... I missed you.”

She smiled. “I missed you too, Sam.” She looked him up and down. “Jeez, you got giant.” She stepped closer and reached up to pull a twig from his hair. “And what’s with the hair?”

Dean grinned. “Told you I liked this girl, Sammy.”

Jess smiled. “Dean, good to see you.” She turned to Cas. “And good to finally meet you, Castiel. Jimmy’s told me a lot about you.” Her smiled turned into a smirk. “about _both_ of you.”

Dean, to his own horror, blushed.

Jess took pity on him and returned to the business at hand. “So Ash and Jimmy are leading the group to bind Metatron. Our job is to steal his grace and your own, Castiel, so you can complete the ritual to close the angel side off from the human side.”

She started down the path, and the three men followed, Sam directly behind her, unable to take his eyes off of her. They turned down a road that Cas swore hadn’t been there before, and were suddenly in the woods, on a narrow trail. A sliver of moon showed overhead and the air had a cold bite. After a few steps, it changed again, to a long hallway lined with lockers, and again, to an outdoor track, a dirt road, a runway, a highway, a church aisle dusted with flower petals.

“What’s going on? What are all these places?” asked Dean in a whisper.

“It’s actually really clever, if I do say so myself,” replied Jess over her shoulder. “Ash and I took bits of hundreds of individual Heavens and copied the code, so it looks like part of the normal Heaven layout, but then we interwove it with other heavens and the Axis Mundi. He’s got a program that lets us see the code of the whole plane. We can’t alter it yet, but we can build new things and it looks like the server space is pretty much infinite.” Her cheeks dimpled. “Seriously, programming in Heaven is _so much cooler_ than in college.”

Cas looked from Jess, to Dean, to Sam, and took in the varied expressions. Jess looked thrilled to be explaining something she obviously loved and knew well. Sam’s face wavered between sadness, excitement, and guilt, the third usually winning out. And Dean was watching Sam, eyes worried.

Cas reached out and gave Dean’s hand a quick squeeze, then dropped it. When Dean turned to glance at him, he gave a smile. “It’s good for him, I think,” said Cas quietly, nodding at Sam. “He’s realizing that she’s all right, that she’s happy here. Maybe he won’t feel so guilty about her death, knowing that.” An idea was forming in Cas’s head, but he pushed it aside to focus on the task at hand.

“You think so?” Dean’s eyes watched his brother.

“Yes. It’s a common process souls go through in Heaven when reunited with loved ones. This will help heal both of them, despite the age of the wounds.”

Dean sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

The road changed one final time, to a long, smooth bridge surrounded by darkness.

“I know this place,” said Cas, heart squeezing painfully as he stared into the darkness. “This is the bridge to our- to the angel’s home.” He sighed and shook his head. “It looks much more magnificent with the full range of an angel’s senses. Now...” he closed his eyes. “Now it’s just a road.”

Dean pressed up against his side, brushing their shoulders together in silent comfort, and Cas gave him an approximation of a smile in return.

“I knew this would be difficult, Dean. We just have to continue.” He pressed on forward behind Sam and Jess as the scene changed once more.

Now they stood in a long, wide hallway, white with frosted glass walls. Cas shivered. 

Dean turned to Jess, who was leaning close to Sam and watching him closely. “How will we know when it’s time to put our plan into action?”

She looked back at him. “Ash found a way to relay a signal back to his mainframe. Jimmy will give it when he’s about to activate the binding spell, and then we’ll have to move quickly since it only lasts a few minutes.” She turned to Cas. “Castiel, you know where your grace is being kept, right?”

Cas nodded. “Even if it isn’t where I last saw it, it will call out to me once I’m close.” He closed his eyes and reached out with his senses. Something familiar reached back. “I can feel it now, faintly. It is definitely in Heaven.” Reluctantly he let go of the sensation and looked around. “It’s this way. We should be careful from now on; Metatron could be anywhere.” 

They moved carefully forward, hugging the wall, until they reached the hallway that housed what had been Naomi’s office. If Metatron were anywhere, Cas was sure, it would be here.

Suddenly a bright light flared in front of them, flashing red, yellow, green then zooming down the corridor

“That’s the signal!” whispered Jess, jogging after it and gesturing for them to follow.

The ball of light turned a corner, then another, and flew into an open door. The four followed closely into a large office, skidding to a halt.

Jimmy Novak stood in the center of the room, chanting as he faced a livid Metatron trapped on a rug painted with spirals of Enochian symbols. Metatron’s eyes blazed as he took in the newcomers, but the spell bound his voice as well as his powers. 

Cas ignored him, feeling the pull of his grace from behind the desk. He slid away from Dean and walked slowly to the small shelf on the wall, where a glowing vial sat alone, his grace the only one left in Heaven besides that of Metatron. 

The glow intensified as he came closer, until it was nearly too much to look at. Cas picked up the vial and hesitated for a moment, eyes finding Dean’s. Dean smiled sadly and nodded. Their eyes locked, and stayed locked as Cas pulled the cork from the vial and felt his grace fill his body once more.

Every sensation intensified suddenly a hundredfold as he regained his angelic senses, and he fell to his knees with the force of it. Dean rushed to his side, kneeling beside him. 

“Cas? You ok?” Dean gripped his arm and pulled him to his feet. “We gotta deal with Metatron right now, Cas. Come on, buddy.”

Cas stepped forward to Metatron, still holding the vial, careful to stay just outside the binding circle. “Hello, Metatron.” He reached out an arm and grabbed him by his arm and pulled him close. “I believe we have some things to discuss, you and I.” He reached down and picked up the knife he’d found beside his grace. “But first, there’s something I need to do.” Gently, he pressed the knife to Metatron’s neck until a thin trickle of blood ran from the cut, followed by a trickle of grace. He set the knife down and picked up the vial, holding it to the other angel’s neck. The grace flowed faster, filling the vial. “You know, you underestimated humanity.” Cas sighed, shaking his head. “So many of us have over the millennia.” He set the vial down, leaving it uncorked. “You claim to want to hear their stories, but you don’t understand what they tell you.” The vial vibrated on the table. “But I think perhaps you still can learn.” He pulled Metatron from the now-useless trap and set him gently in a chair. “I was given this idea by our sister Anna, you know,” he continued conversationally. “She knew much about humanity, and she loved them.” he sighed. “She died trying to protect their right to exist.” He reached a finger into the vial of grace and pulled out a strand. “Maybe some day we will meet again, Metatron. Then you can tell me your story.”

He wrapped the strand around Metatron’s forehead and the former angel began to glow, shrinking and fading. “Live your own life, Metatron. Learn what it is to be human.” Metatron was little more than a glowing smudge trickling through the floor. “You’ll understand why I stand with them once you’ve lived a lifetime as one of them, I hope.” 

The former angel was gone, and Cas turned to the assembled humans, sending Dean a reassuring smile that the hunter returned after a moment. “I would like to meet with all the members of Team Badass. Is Ash’s Heaven the most likely place to meet them?”

Someone snorted at the name. Castiel suspected Jess.

Jimmy replied, however. “Yeah, that’s where they’ll be-” and before he could finish his sentence they stood in the Roadhouse.

Sam and Dean gaped at the assembled group. Here were Ellen and Jo, Ash and Pam, Bobby and Rufus and Linda and Sarah. Even their grandfather Henry stood off to the side with a group of what had to be Men of Letters.

Ash grinned and waved, “Bros! You made it! Great job on Metatron!”

Bobby wove his way over, Karen, Ellen and Jo and what had to be Bill Harvelle just a few steps behind him. “Boys, good work here.” He pulled them both into a rough hug. “Miss you idjits.”

Ellen pushed him out of the way and hugged them as well. Both boys held tight to her for a moment. “Good to see you boys. Glad you’re all right.” 

Jo stepped in behind her and joined the hug. “Hey, guys. It’s quiet up here without you.”

Victor Henricksen shook Dean's hand, saying, "Glad you're still fighting the fight down there." Dean give him a nod and turned away. He and Victor always understood each other.

Others came over. Henry shook their hands, Rufus glared at them, Linda Tran told them they’d better be watching out for her son. They met Bill Harvelle and let Sarah know that they’d checked on her family and they they were doing fine, but missed her.

Jimmy came over for a real greeting, and grinned at them both, shaking Sam’s hand and pulling Dean into a hug, kissing his cheek. “Thank you both. For everything.”

Dean blushed slightly, but who could excuse a guy for having twin fantasies when an exact copy of your boyfriend (and when, exactly, did he start calling Cas _that?!_ ) is standing in front of you?

After everyone had exchanged greetings and Dean’s eyes were suspiciously moist, Cas cleared his throat loudly. “Hello everyone.” The conversations faded and everyone turned their eyes to him. He glanced around at the assembled crowd, suddenly amazed by the number of people the Winchesters had loved and lost, and made a decision. 

“Metatron has been removed from Heaven, but his grace is powerful. He was one of the oldest of angels.” He held up the shining vial. “It’s dangerous to keep his grace intact because he may one day try and return to Heaven as something other than the human I have made him.” He paused, then continued. “But grace has other uses, uses angels rarely use. Uses that are forbidden, but...” he smiled sadly, “I suppose there is no one but me to forbid them anymore, not now.” 

He looked at Jimmy, who had been taken from his life to fight in a war that even Cas hadn’t understood. He looked at Jess and Sarah, whose only crime had been caring for Sam Winchester. He looked at Jo, who had died so that he and the Winchesters could escape.

“I can take this power and use it to fashion human bodies and return souls to Earth. I’ve done it once before, with Dean, using the full power of Heaven. This would be similar.” He turned to look at Jimmy. “You would continue your life from the age you were when you died, and then return here when you die once more. Then the grace will dissipate into the Earth.” He glanced at Bill and Karen. “Unfortunately, this will only work for recent deaths, within the last decade.” He turned his gaze on the silent crowd.

Sarah raised her hand instantly. “Bring me back to my family, please.” She turned to Jess and hugged her. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Jess. If you choose to come back, come find me. all right?”

Jess smiled and reached for Sam’s hand, then turned to Cas. “Me too. I want to make up for the time I lost.”

Cas turned to Linda. “Kevin misses you. Will you return?”

She grinned. “You couldn’t stop me.” 

"Victor?" asked Dean. "You want to come get back in the fight on Earth?"

He gave a nod. "Of course. You're going to have to get me up to speed on it all, though."

Jo stepped forward as well. “I’ll do it.” she turned to her mother. “Mom?”

Ellen looked at Jo, then Bill, and shook her head sadly. “You go, Joanna Beth. I’m staying here.”

Jo’s face fell. “Mom-”

“I just found your dad again, honey. I’m not leaving him.” She smiled. “We’ll see each other again, I promise. Just... not too soon, all right?”

Jo sniffed, but stayed where she was with Sarah and Jess and Linda.

“Ash?” she asked hopefully. “Pam?”

Pam smiled. “I can go to any show I want to up here, and watch anything on Earth. Why would I leave?”

Ash nodded in agreement. “Sorry chica, but this is where I belong now. Roadhouse is gone, but up here, I can run the biggest damn network you can imagine.” He grinned, tossing his mullet. “Plus, can’t leave my girl Pam, now can I? And somebody’s gotta be in charge up here now that the angels are gone.”

Pam grinned and punched his arm.

Cas smiled. “Ash, Pam, that is something else I wanted to discuss.” He looked out over the group. “The Heavens of humans should be run by humans, don’t you think?” People nodded. “I believe you are the best people for the task.”

Ash raised a fist. “Rock on, bro. We’ll keep things running smooth for you up here.”

Pam grinned. “Sounds like a plan. I’ve always wanted to rule something.”

One person hadn’t spoken up. Cas turned to Jimmy, who slipped outside to the porch, gesturing for Cas to follow.

“What should I do, Castiel?” he asked, leaning on the railing and staring out into the parking lot.

Cas shook his head. “Jimmy, that decision is one only you can make.”

“I know. Just hoped you might tell me what to do.” He sighed. “Claire is probably heading to college in the fall. I’ve missed her growing up. She’s probably dating, and figuring out what she wants to do with her life.” He stepped back to sit against the wall, legs splayed out across the deck. “Amelia might even have remarried.” He leaned his head back against the wall. “I don’t think I have a place there anymore, Castiel.”

“I can do something else for you, if you would like.” Cas said hesitantly. “I can give you the ability to see anyone on Earth, and speak to them in dreams, as you did to me.”

Jimmy looked up at him. “So I could watch my family? And talk to them, at least a little?”

“Not just your family. Anyone.”

Jimmy looked thoughtful. “I could help people with that power. I could make a difference for them.” He decided. ”I’ll do it.”

Cas reached into his pocket and pulled out the shimmering vial of grace. Pulling out a strand, he paused and looked at the human beside him. “Jimmy?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you... speak to me, sometimes? In my dreams? I’ve missed you.” Cas ducked his head.

Jimmy smiled. “Of course I will. We were roommates in my brain too long to lose touch now.”

Cas smiled back. “I believe you mean _my_ brain, now.”

Jimmy chuckled. “There’s hope for you yet.”

Cas slowly draped the grace around Jimmy’s shoulders. “Be well, Jimmy Novak.” He stood as Jimmy fell into a deep sleep as his body assimilated the new abilities. “And I’m sorry. For everything.”

He stepped back inside to finish doling out the grace, sending each back down to Earth exactly as they left it, only healed and with memories of where they’d been.

Finally, he was left with only Sam and Dean. The others had departed to their own Heaven, and Ash to get some sleep after pulling a week’s worth of overnighters.

“What now, Cas?” asked Dean, face closed off. “You’re the only angel left. Are you... are you staying up here?”

Cas turned and stared at him. “Would you like me to?”

“No!” the word slipped out before Dean could stop it, but he gritted his teeth and committed to it. “No. I want you to come back. With me. And Sam, too, I guess.”

“Thanks, Dean.” Sam said dryly.

Dean ignored him. “Will you?”

Cas looked around at Heaven’s splendor. With his regained angel senses, he could see the pulse of the universe in Heaven’s architecture. He could see Dean’s soul shining brightly beneath his skin.

But somehow, something was lacking.

He came to a decision. “Yes. I will return with you.” He took a moment to let that sink in, then continued. “I’ll return, but... as a human.”

“What?!” asked Dean, incredulous. “But you just got your mojo back! Isn’t that what you wanted?”

Cas noticed distantly that Sam had slipped out of the room, and was grateful. “No, Dean. What I wanted was to be with you, and to be useful to you. And even as a human, I can be that.” He sighed, leaning back against the bar. “I can’t be the only angel, Dean. I don’t want to be.” He shook his head. “I’ve been the most powerful being on the planet before, remember? That did not turn out as I’d hoped.” 

In a blink, all three stood outside the bunker door. Cas stepped to the side and pressed his hands to the soil. A sapling sprouted between his fingers, stretching quickly into a tree, solid and sturdy. A glow spread through the forest, causing leaves to burst into bud, squirrels to hop across branches, and sprouts to shoot up from the ground.

“Cas, is that-” Sam looked around, jaw dropping, ”Is that your grace causing that?”

Cas stood, wiping his palms on his jeans. “It was. It’s done. I’m human. Now my grace is part of the land.” He walked back to the door, just a man once again. “It’s the best use I could have put it to.”

The three stepped inside.

\-----

Two days later, Sam received a call from a payphone in California, and less than a week after that the bunker had a fourth resident. Jess had her own room for now, but she and Sam were seeing if they could rekindle what they'd lost a decade ago.

Victor had sat himself in the library and was reading everything he could get his hands on, preparing to join the hunting world.

Jo showed up one day with a backpack and a scowl and claimed a room for herself.

The Trans and Jody Mills dropped by for a visit on the same day that Charlie happened to be in the neighborhood.

Dean said nothing, but that evening he smiled to himself and kissed Cas gently against a table set for ten.

After dinner, Cas looked around at the residents and guests of the bunker and smiled, whispering to Dean, “We have a family,” and pressing a kiss to Dean’s temple. He chuckled when Dean pulled away in response to the chorus of “Aww”.

This was his family, now. He was human, but then, so was everyone else. He'd figure out what to do about the angels soon, he promised himself, but for now he was just going to enjoy what he'd been given.

He took Dean's hand and pulled him into their room, smiling.


End file.
